What readers have to say


This book covers every aspect of affairs from whether to tell your spouse to whether to end your clandestine relationship to whether to open your marriage and delves into the possible consequences of each choice…this book is a must-read for anyone who's ever cheated--or ever thought about it--and anyone who's ever discovered their partner's cheating.
Dr. Alicia M. Walker
Assistant professor of sociology, and author of The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife: Power, Pragmatism, and Pleasure in Women's Infidelity
When You're the One Who Cheats is a profoundly wise and inspiring guide for unfaithful and betrayed partners who are struggling to make sense of their relationships, choose a direction, and rebuild their lives after an affair.
Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D.
Author of After the Affair and How Can I Forgive You?
Sensitively written, wise, compassionate, non-judgmental and startlingly frank, Dr. Tammy Nelson has penned a bible for those who find themselves in the delicate position of being a "cheater." I recommend this book to all those who've been impacted by infidelity, as well as those who only daydream about it. In Dr. Tammy, you'll find a fast friend who will help open your mind, heal your heart, and restore your soul to sanity.
Katherine Woodward Thomas
NY Times Bestselling Author of Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After
Tammy Nelson dares to go there, to say that, to confront the many myths of monogamy, and to take the mystery out of cheating.
D. Edward Delmar
Author of Thruplicity

"Cheating happens. Marriage, affairs, and sex are interwoven, and this meshing of intimacy and relationships may even create a form of altered but longer-lasting monogamy."


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About The Author


Dr. Tammy Nelson is the bestselling author of The New Monogamy, as well as Getting the Sex You Want. She is an internationally acclaimed sex and couples’ therapist and a TEDx speaker and the host of a popular podcast.  She lives and practices in the New York City area. You can find her at drtammynelson.com and on Twitter @drtammynelson.

Copyright RL Publishing Corp. 2019